Morning funny....

A ham bush? You must be getting heat stroke Dave.

Older Men Scam
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works; Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen Aug. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also Sept. 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

dfree383 wrote:An elderly lady was walking on the golf course on the island of Martha's Vineyard . She slipped and fell.
Obama, who was behind her by chance, helped her to get up promptly. She thanked him and he answered - "It was a pleasure to help you. Don't you recognize me? I am your president.
Are you going to vote for me in the next election?"
... The elderly woman laughed and replied:

''I fell on my ass ... not on my head...”

think I heard about that .

was'nt that Mitt's mom ? less damage if she did fall on her head

Wives don't forget old boyfriends!

Husband took the wife to a disco on the weekend.

There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large - breakdancing,

moonwalking, back flips, the works.

The wife turned to husband and said:

"See that guy? Twenty five years ago he proposed to me and I turned him
down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!

This sounds like how this new Healthcare system we've had ramed down our throat is gonna work.....

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he
had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical

insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had..

Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete
medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said,

'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an

electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for
the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the
nude

and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

www.cmt.com/videos/misc/788122/roll-me-up-from-the-2012-cmt-music-

dfree383 wrote:A puppet, a black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim and a Communist walk into a bar.


Bartender asks ....


"What'll it be, Mr. President?"

I thought he only did weed and blow , not alcohol

[quote="dfree383"]How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter?


Romney supporters sign their checks on the front;


Obama supporters sign theirs on the back.
[/quote
where does the CEO of China Motors sign his name ?

dfree383 wrote:How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter?


Romney supporters sign their checks on the front;


Obama supporters sign theirs on the back.

i thought Obama supporters had direct deposit you know,for that card thingy they use at the store. Romney supporters dont sign checks cuz they dont do the hard labor,they have a couple Obama supporters do it for them.

cool40 wrote:

dfree383 wrote:How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter?


Romney supporters sign their checks on the front;


Obama supporters sign theirs on the back.

i thought Obama supporters had direct deposit you know,for that card thingy they use at the store. Romney supporters dont sign checks cuz they dont do the hard labor,they have a couple Obama supporters do it for them.

could it they support Obama because the have inside info ?

An old German came to New York on vaction to visit old friends.They stopped at a little shop to sit and take a break. The German man say's damn! these are great bagels, we don't have any this good at home! The little Jew who owned the shop pops up and say's " and whose fault is that?"

cool40 wrote:

dfree383 wrote:How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter?


Romney supporters sign their checks on the front;


Obama supporters sign theirs on the back.

i thought Obama supporters had direct deposit you know,for that card thingy they use at the store. Romney supporters dont sign checks cuz they dont do the hard labor,they have a couple Obama supporters do it for them.

Truer words were never spoken, if he had his way, that is the way the whole country would be.

342g wrote:

cool40 wrote:

dfree383 wrote:How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter?


Romney supporters sign their checks on the front;


Obama supporters sign theirs on the back.

i thought Obama supporters had direct deposit you know,for that card thingy they use at the store. Romney supporters dont sign checks cuz they dont do the hard labor,they have a couple Obama supporters do it for them.

Truer words were never spoken, if he had his way, that is the way the whole country would be.

come on Dave you know you want one of those sign on the back checks or direct deposit . BTW . how do you get paid ? and with what ? .. camels , goats , salt blocks ... what form of payment .